Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
