You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
