What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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