My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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