TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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