Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
