Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
