In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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