After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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