can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
