She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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