just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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