Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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