well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
