She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
