What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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