FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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