Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize