There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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