I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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