I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
