Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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