I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
