Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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