Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
