she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize