He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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