so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
