then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
