my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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