Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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