i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Porn is love you can see.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
