I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
