She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
