Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
