So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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