summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
