This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
