I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
