You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
