he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
