a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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