who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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