I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
