It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
