I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize