I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
