he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
