It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
