When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
try to milk me bitch
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
