I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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