my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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