So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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