All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
