i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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