Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
