she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
