I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize