Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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