I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
