I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
